Finding Us (Happy Ending Resort Series Book 4) by t. h. snyder

Author:t. h. snyder [snyder, t. h.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Author t. h. snyder
Published: 2015-05-25T04:00:00+00:00

Chelby

Hot tears fall down my cheeks, landing on the soft fabric of his shirt. My mind is spinning in so many different directions right now I don’t know which way is up or down.

Do I want him to stay or should I tell him to go?

He came back to save me…it’s who he is, it’s what he does. I can’t fault him for wanting to make me happy, but I’m just starting to realize what I need to do to make myself happy.

I need to do this on my own.

As I close my eyelids tightly together, memories flash before me. We’ve had so many good times, yet because of who I am there have also been times I’d rather never live through again.

The past few days I’ve felt like the puzzle pieces were finally starting to align. I was making my way through this world on my own, making my own decisions and smiling because of the path I chose to start following.

Having Tristan with me is like putting up a safety net just waiting for me to fall. I know he’ll always be there to catch me, yet I need to build up the strength to stand tall on my own.

So many things have been pulling us in opposite directions. His family wants him to have one thing, and I’m over here wanting to find my place in the world. It’s so hard, so confusing to live a life that in this very moment has no set direction.

Not only am I an emotional distraction to him, I’m also now unemployed.

Ugh, I’ve made such a mess of things.

I’m just so unsure of where I see us in each other’s lives. I want to become a stronger woman, yet with him by my side I’m worried that I’ll only ever want to change because he wants me to…I need to do this for me.

Do I love him?

Do I miss him when I’m not with him?

Do I see a life filled with happiness knowing he’s a part of that life?

These thoughts are wreaking havoc in my head. Confusion fills every nerve ending in my body, and I want to scream.

As we stand here, me wrapped in his arms, I’m not quite sure what to do next. The two weeks we spent apart I was sure that my life would never be the same. I sought out help, finally recognizing that I had to get the help I needed. As much as I want Tristan by my side, I still feel as though I have to embark on this journey alone. If I can’t make myself happy, it’s not fair for him to fight the battles raging inside of me. So many mixed emotions and thoughts are running rapidly through my mind.

I don’t know what to do.

Letting my hands fall away from his body I take a step back.

“I’m tired, Tristan,” I say moving another step away from him.

A frown pulls from his lips, and my heart begins to hurt. I don’t want to cause him pain, but I don’t know what the hell we’re supposed to do.

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